is it a social disorder? or am I just anti-social?

Tonight is the Big Dinner - its a low-key event at our church building where people get together to eat dinner. Not a pot-luck - it's BYOF - everyone brings their own food - what they'd be eating for dinner. We're sitting "hof-brau" style at long tables, & just interacting with our family & with the others that are around us. My wife has been excited about this for, oh, a jillion years. The opportunity to eat, drink, & be merry with friends is exactly the sort of thing that floats her proverbial boat.

But me, well, that's a different story. The idea of sitting down & eating together scares me. Why? you might ask... I'm not quite sure.

I'm not much for crowds - standing in line - getting stuck anywhere; I've been known to get a bit claustrophobic. I like to sit at the end of the table, because then I have at least one right/90degree angle in front of me. Somehow, that is comforting. I was trying to explain what my emotions & thoughts are on this topic to the Bean, theMoses, & Brother. I really like the idea of the Big Dinner & eating my own food. Of seeing friends. Making new ones... but the practical working out of it makes me feel a bit reclusive.

However, in spite of the fear, I will be there. At the Big Dinner. Hopefully sitting on an end.