Stayin' Alive & other stories...


I arrived at the Washoe MRI center with plenty of time to spare, filled out the requisite paper work, & was shuttled back to the changing room. Yes. I was ushered into the place where they keep hospital gowns, those cute little numbers w/too much Southern exposure. Fortunately however, they also had cool pants which I got to wear. Seems as though the only size pants they had was Travolta in SNF. No matter, the issue wasn’t comfort or style, it was getting through the MRI & arthrogram. I must have been walking funny, because Nurse Teresa asked me if I was ok – I told her that I was fine, but that the pants must have been made for Olive Oyl’s brother She informed me that they have several sizes of pants available; unfortuneately, the only size that had come back from the cleaners was String Bean Disco king. Eventually, I found that if I shuffled like a geisha I could avoid tearing a hole in the pants – until they asked me to climb up onto the gurney. That was a sight to behold.

Anyway, in order for the MRI to sufficiently “R” (resonate), they have to insert a 22 gauge needle into the shoulder joint, drain the joint of excess fluid, then refill it with a dye that will “R” for the MRI. Any dye-filled fluid that leaks out of the shoulder joint (capsule) will leak from the tears; this illuminates the specific areas of damage so that Herr Dr. doesn’t have to lay open the shoulder & can just operate arthroscopically, (less intrusive, less damage, less recovery time.) The arthrogram process is a simple straightforward procedure. Just not today.

The Dr. Radiologist couldn’t get the needle into the joint. She tried. A lot. About two hours worth. For some reason, my shoulder has a hard “thingy” in it that parried every attempt made to get into the joint, thereby making the entire MRI process a moot point. No sedation, no “knocky-outie”, no more tests.

So, enough of the the dye that the Dr. was attempting to put into my shoulder joint made it into the surrounding tissues, meaning that I would have to wait a week or so until it dissipates; then I go in & repeat the whole process again.

I had a good conversation w/Nurse Teresa w/the spiritual catholic background – she was very inquisitive about my job & when she finally figured out what I do (hard to be specific with a 22 gauge needle in your shoulder,) she talked about spirituality, her moral code (golden rule), hypocrisy of religious people (not in an attacking way, but in the “this shouldn’t be” kinda way,) her experiences at a Christian Fellowship where she went to a get-together to connect & was ignored, & at another place she encountered Speaking In Tongues which was very spiritual & connect-y to God. Fun MMC stuff.

9/27 @ 10 a.m. is my next date w/arthro & MRI. I’m bringing my own pants next time.

8 launchings into the blogosphere....:

wordpatch said...

Silly me. I read the part about the dye-fluid leaking from the tears, and thought how painful that procedure was, and how strong the dye, that it would leak from your eyes when you were crying from pain.

JoeyDL said...

so what about the dye thingy ma-jig.

TPluckyT said...

This is a great story and an example of what I'm always telling Sue . . . you've got to live it if you want to tell about it . . . I've told you before, you have to go through this stuff to get good material for your speeches. :-)

That really is cool about the nurse.

The Weez said...

I'm so sorry that it hurt dad.

shontell said...

aaw. Weezer loves you. ::sniff:: so sweet. :) Anyway. My husband fullyy appreciated the pants. Nice imagery.

noel said...

Bahhhaaaa!!!! Your imagery was awesome. It's not funny your pain, but the pants were so funny. I am so sorry though for the pain aspect of this whole process. Does not sound like fun AT ALL!!! Maybe next time you should add to your list of things to bring not only pants but a nice cocktail as well to help with the pain. Like how in Braveheart when the old guy takes a swig of something before they pull the arrow out of his shoulder. Yah, kinda like that.

digapigmy said...

i've always thought that tight pants really make things hurt less. it might be just a pscychological thing, but there should be some kind of study done. i don't know about pants at all in this situation. i'll have to consult my handbook for "people who don't like to wear pants".

Jeni said...

I'm sorry that the MRI didn't happen, but the thought of you as a geisha almost made me cry from laughter... :)