Anyway, my friend's mourning over the struggles, issues, & general pain that our mutual friend was experiencing reminded me of some great advice I was given by my friend, Chuck. Chuck said:
First: it's not your job to die FOR your church, your friends, or for anyone else. Jesus already did.
Second: No matter what someone else's troubles, difficulties, or life situation is, you cannot care more about it than they do... it's a black-hole that is very hard to escape.
Made me think...how often have I expended great amounts of energy in helping a friend/other to navigate through a situation only to find that when push came to shove & a tough call had to be made, a tough call that just might have made it so that the friend/other could extricate themselves from the rough/tough situation, that the person I was helping would decide that they didn't want to get out, didn't want to move on from their situation... but they still wanted all the support & people walking with them that they could find? (Yes, that incredibly long sentence started with a question, so I have to put a ? at the end of it... had to re-read the sentence too, as I was completely lost. But I digress.)
People don't always want out the situations that they're in - sometimes, it's their own life choices that keep them in the vicious circle that they're trapped in... & I realize that they're not trapped so much as stuck. And I see that I care more about what they're doing/facing than they seem to... and I ponder if it's my role at all to be apart of the situation any longer...
But then to have a boundary, to say "no more" is deemed judgmental & unChristian.
And... I still care a lot...