Ringing it in...

What does that mean? To "Ring in" the New Year? Does one need a bell to "Ring it in?" Hmm.

Reminds me of a time, two or ten that I spent "praying in" the New Year - the splanation being that it was a great way to start the year off. Perhaps, but it always felt contrived & forced to make the prayer happen, esp. if/when it required getting others to shut up from their deep 'meaning of life' conversations that they were having, & making them stop their games, loud happy interactions in order to join the somber prayer group (usually a circle) that would take turns trying to out "our Father," each other. I tried so hard to make God happy... & to do what I thought a good Christian should do...

Looking back, I have regrets - I know that everyone does, but mine usually center on:

-things I've done that kept me at a distance from really knowing God, & from being myself

-things I've done, regardless of how well meaning I was, that ended up putting blockades between people being able to see Jesus as He is, replacing Him instead with religious verbiage, activities, & the like... I work hard & try intentionally not to do that...

-my relationship with my family - esp. my brother Moe - my talking too much, listening too little, & trying to make life & relationships fit into nice boxes. That one keeps me awake at night.

-pain caused to the Bean because of my desire (need? control issues?) to work my way into peace...

I pray for the redemption of relationship with Moe - & that those that I violated, tripped up, put an obstacle course in front of would find their way through all the junk to the Real Thing that is the Word.