had a friend in town for the last few days, Morris Chapman; his visit had been on the books for a while. I invited him to come & spend time with our church family in extended worship. God knew what would be happening the week prior to his visit - I was physically, emotionally, & every other -ally you can think of - spent. Done. Finito. You get the idea.
When Morris started playing, "I Will Restore" (it's on his mySpace page at the link aboveI felt my insides melting - not a pleasant feeling - I knew that I had to lay down on the floor. The weight of my soul felt like it was pulling me to the ground. I told the Bean that I was going to lay down - don't know if she understood what I meant,... or where I meant. I just remember hitting the floor & weeping from the bottom of my soles. I thought I had cried my tears already this week; I'd run out a couple of times & had the "dry cry" not to be confused with the "dry heave." Hurts about the same though.
After an indefinite period of time, I felt peace. And the raw, exposed nerve of my soul was no longer raw, exposed, & angry to the touch. I was still tired. Bone-weary. But the soul despair, the pain faded & I had peace. The circumstances of the week hadn't changed, but I had peace. We are still grieving, but I have peace. I could sleep the clock, but I have peace.
Thank you Jesus - to any/all that may be reading this: Peace to you. The peace of Christ to you.