Good bye Sue L. You'll be missed. Esp. when I'm trying to figure out what exactly the little knobbys do on the soundboard.
On that note: I wonder what part of our psyche is affected as we try to deal with the death of friends & loved ones... cause I know there's a part that is numbed, & does everything possible to try to function like Everything Is Normal, when at the same time a logical portion of the mind(?) is stating, matter of factly of course, the 'reality' of events that have led to our friend/loved one not being on the planet.
I remember the 1st time I prayed after my brother's funeral... it was bedtime prayers, of course, just me & the Bean. I was covering all the bases (meaning praying for family & extended family,) & I prayed for Johnny, Joel, & Ben... (their birth order btw...) It took about 10 seconds before I realized that I'd prayed for Johnny. And that he had died. And I knew it, & wasn't in denial. But at that moment, I had thought, "I need to pray for him..."
And I cried w/the Bean. Tears of grief. Loss. Sorrow. Loneliness. And I thought about my brother, & wondered if praying would ever be the same again...
The numbness fades over time, but I don't know if it ever goes away totally - maybe its a sorrow or the residue of missing someone. Or the part of our psyche that screams out, "NO!" & does everything possible to protect me from the pain of feeling.
I wish more people who knew my brother, talked to me about my brother. Cause, Man, that is the best. My kids never met their Uncle, as he died in June 1990, & the Pasty Gangster didn't enter the world until 9/1991. I wish they could have known him, because he was a piece of work. (The closest to his personality is #2 son, Prince Darrell - esp. when he doesn't get his way...) So, I want to reminisce - look at videos, & 'introduce' my kids to him... Because then, his memory is carried on by more than just a picture.
If a loved one or friend has died, keep talking about them. It helps.
Walking with a friend as they bury their wife is hard... but it would be harder for them alone. Life's too short to do that kind of thing by yourself. Let's not go solo.