musings on the 1st of July

Let's just say that I've been a bit... deliberate in my blogging the last few weeks... meaning, its been slow. Not because there's nothing to blog about, (because, really, has that ever stopped me before,) but rather because I'm processing in my head. And I'm back, with an intent to bring the cheese.

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Today is anniversary #20 of my marriage to theBean. When I think back through all the little 'coincidences' that led to us connecting that 3rd week of June, 1988, it boggles my mind. Perhaps I'll spend a little time revisiting the birth of our adventure.

I'm not much of a Destiny believer (meaning: there's 1 person out there for me & Destiny will bring us to-gev-uh...) which automatically identifies me as a "chick-flick hater" (not true: I'll watch 'em. Just don't buy into 'em.) And as a "non-romantic" (also not true: I may not be the Dr. of Love, but I have been known to be able to romance, wine, & dine my girl...)

However, there were more than a few 'what if's' that had to come together - when I was reminiscing about that with theBean, I asked her, "How could I get so lucky that you would love ME?" She said, "Hmm. Good question. You must've just been in the right place at the right time..." With a smile.

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I was thinking about my life, & wondering if I would enjoy it if my job had a "summer break" - like my 3 kids do. Sometimes, the loads of free time, lounging around, doing whatever, whenever, however seems attractive. And then I realize that one of life's great joys is the ability to do something with purpose...

Mind you, I'm not talking about deriving my worth from work; instead, its knowing that my life matters. Being able to put my hands to something, to give my all & do my best plays a role in the feeling of contentment. I've been reading through Ecclesiastes & found something that sums that up for me:

Here is what I have seen to be and fitting: to eat, to drink, & enjoy oneself in all one's labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of his life which God has given him; for this is his reward...Ecclesiastes 5:18 NASB

Perhaps the doldrums, depression, & discontent come from not having something to apply one's hands to? Not just a job, but a place to volunteer, help out, give of oneself. Hmmm.

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Just booked my time at CSR for the 3rd week of August. Me & theBean spent some time there last year & it was life-changing. If you'd like to reminisce (I know I did!) you can check out the posts from last August HERE

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Current reading list:

Love, Acceptance, & Forgiveness - the re-release by Jerry Cook. Sweet. It just came out, & I can't put it down.

Mother Kirk - by Douglas Wilson - a study in practical ecclesiology (the study of church doctrine,) in the reformed tradition... Hmmm.

The Mishnah - though I'm using it more as a resource & research book rather than reading through it cover to cover...

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality - Peter Scazzero - revisiting this in advance of my solo August journey to CSR...

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Time to go work out. Then home to shower, put on my foo-foo clothes, & out to dinner (which will be, most likely a slab of beef,) with my One, myBean, the love of my life, mother of my children, most B-E-A-Utiful woman in the entire world...

Sigh.